eating, sleeping, pooping

and no i am not talking about you. i am talking about me.

eating is stressing me out. i am not really hungry anymore. i mean, i get hungry, but earlier on, until about a month ago, i was famished. all. the. time. it seemed that from the minute your little embryo was implanted into my uterus, i was hungry. i ate all day long. and sometimes, i even ate during the night. i couldn't get enough food. and that lasted until about week 24 or so, i was starving. (maybe that's why i have already gained about 35 pounds and i still have 12 weeks to go.) but now, not so much. and so i forget to eat as much as i should. then i worry. i worry about your brain. i worry about you. all. the. time. but i guess that's normal. that's what mommies do.

i can't sleep. i cannot get comfortable. i even bought one of those giant stupid rip off maternity pillows. it may help a little, but i still can't sleep. now i am not a good sleeper as it is. i seem to have overcome my light-sleeping, but now i am waking up every hour or so either to pee or just because i am completely uncomfortable.

i will keep this short, in case anyone other than your dad and aunt cole ever read this -- my poop is so weird. anyone who knows me knows that i am obsessed with poop anyway, so it wouldn't really be surprising to know that i am writing about it. but every day it is different. a different color. different texture. different amount. different smell. so weird.

these are just some of the ways you have changed my life so far. other than that, i don't wear deodorant anymore (i don't want to poison you with the aluminum in there and the natural stuff makes me smell worse than i do on my own), my favorite thing to do is take a shower with your daddy so that he can talk to you and hold you in my belly. then we get into bed and he reads you a book. i could spend the rest of my life that way. i drink OJ every day. i never used to because of the sugar, but i figure you probably like the sweet taste, and plus it gives us calcium and vitamin c. oh yes, the vitamins -- prenatals, fish oil, femdophilus (twice per day), vitamin c, vitamin e, and i eat everything orange so that you will have plenty of vitamin a (beta carotene) because it is supposed to make that bag of water that you are floating in really strong. i live for every movement in my belly and i am already wondering how sad i will be when you are not in there anymore. i am so excited to meet you and hold you, but i love that we have all of this time together. i love looking at myself naked. never in my life have i said that. but i love seeing my big belly with you inside. you have changed me in so many ways already. i can't imagine what it will be like once you are here.