26 August, 2009

33 weeks with the midwife

we had our 33-week check-up on monday. it went well, but meredith thinks you are upside down. well, really right side up, but we need you to have your head down. you still have plenty of time to flip. we are going to go see you on the ultrasound machine to make sure. if you are the wrong way, we are going to try everything we can to help you get into the right position for our home delivery. i hope you cooperate. trust your mommy, it will be so much better to be born here than in the hospital.

24 August, 2009

what's daddy been up to?

well, last week your daddy fell off of his motorcycle. it was about 8:00 and he was coming home early from work at the pool. i was happy that he would be home early. but right after he hung up, it started to rain. hard. and there was a lot of crazy wind. it was bad. i was so worried. lincoln and i were staring out the window waiting for him to get home safe. but he called and said that he wrecked. i ran out of the house in the rain with no shoes and in my pjs to go get him. he was right up the street. it was so scary. he was worried that because i was upset you would come early. but you know better than that! he is ok. he has a lot of scratches and scrapes, but we were very lucky. his bike needs some fixing up, but nothing too bad. your mom was never so scared in her life...i hope that we never have to be that scared for daddy again.

but on a happier note, daddy has been working hard on your bedroom...even though you probably won't be in there too much! he has torn down the paneling on the walls, spackled and painted, hung a chair rail, baseboard, and crown molding. he is now laying the floor and will hang the valances. (i've also been having him do tons of other stuff like paint the bathroom, work on outside stuff, etc. he has been so awesome about it all.) he loves that he is able to make your room for you! you will love it when you see it! here's what it looks like so far...

the big scare

last thursday night was a terrible night. i was contracting pretty much every 4 minutes or so. i also had a random pain in my upper abdomen. we called meredith at about midnight. she said relax, take a bath, and if they didn't stop -- go to the hospital for a scan. after about two more hours of "let's go...let's wait...let's go...let's wait" i finally decided to try to close my eyes and calm myself down. i fell asleep and in the morning, i was fine. i think maybe i didn't drink enough. no worries since then, though.

doc visit

so last monday at the doc's, we waited. of course we waited. we waited about an hour. it's been worse. dr. salvatore was great, though. she was not concerned at all about the bloodwork, even though my iron was pretyt low. she even gave dietary suggestions about how to get the iron levels up -- instead of the standard "take an iron pill" recommendation. she guessed that the baby is in a head down position. we left feeling relaxed and very positive...but still both of us confirmed that we would not have done this any other way. without a midwife, i mean. i will never go back to the medical model of care. i lvoe my midwife!

20 August, 2009


please forgive me if my spelling is off. my fingers are numb and have been for weeks now. it's mostly the thumbs, pointers, and middles -- which are exactly the fingers i use for typing (yes, people, i failed keyboarding in high school). so that's that.

15 August, 2009

blood work results

the blood work came back "still weird". i love my midwife (have i mentioned that?) she has been consulting with dr. salvatore (remember the supportive OB who is so supportive of homebirth? they both think the blood work is weird. i have to go in on monday to the (yes) doctor's office. i am so dreading that -- waiting and waiting. but i plan to make the most of that waiting and take up as much time as possible once i get some time with the doc. the whole thing is that i could have some form of anemia -- but not the typical anemia. of course. why would anything be typical? i am just hoping and praying that it is something that can be fixed and that the birth at home will not be affected. i cannot imagine having this baby boy anywhere but at home.

on another note, he is rolling around in there like crazy. i don;t really feel kicks and punches too often, but i do feel a ton of rolling and it seems that my belly is constantly making waves. i love this boy.

also, we've received a few baby gifts -- closet organizer from grandma and grandpa e, baby's name in beautifully painted letters from aunt erica, and DIAPERS! yes, i was that excited when i opened the package from nina and tammy. they are so damn cute and look so big. this boy is gonna have a chunky looking butt!

11 August, 2009

blood in the street

friday we met with meredith. it was a great appointment. they (she and the midwife's apprentice -- i love saying that) felt around my belly trying to see which way the boy was hanging out in there. his head was down near my pelvis and he was kind of slung in there on a diagonal.

my blood pressure is good. baby's heart rate is good. my water level is great. conversation was good. couch was comfy. it was, as always, a great hour spent.

she took my blood to check iron levels. and then she called me yesterday evening to say she wanted to re-draw my blood because the results came back "weird". that's not really a concern for me right now, so if the second draw comes back showing anything negative, i will post about that. but for now, the good story is this.

meredith's partner (her midwifery business partner) is currently having her baby. as of friday, she was 42 weeks pregnant. so as of today, she is 42 weeks and 4 days. the baby is coming, but it has been long and slow. so because of this, meredith needed me to swing by christy's house so she could re-draw. and obviously we weren't going inside, so there we were, camped out on a curb in south philly, filling a vial with blood. it was fabulous.

10 August, 2009

an education in childbirth

i decided to become certified to teach other people about all of the wonderful ways they can give birth to their babies. since my experience with your brother at the hospital with all of those doctors who seemed so impersonal and to know know what i (or cooper) needed, i have been reading and exploring and learning about all of the ways babies can come into this world.

that's why you will be born here at home. it is safer for you because the only germs here are our germs -- germs you are already used to. mommy will feel safer, too. i can play the music i like and make the lights how i want them, and be where i want to be. i will be able to walk around. to get into the shower. or the tub. i can labor on the toilet. i can eat and drink. daddy will be able to catch you. we will leave your cord attached until you no longer need it. and we won't have to sleep in the hospital. we will already be home where we are comfortable. and we won't have to leave. not until we want to leave.

i feel so sad for people (including the old me) who think that a hospital birth is their only choice. who think that the standard of care they get from their OB is normal and the only option.

so i want to be able to empower women to make the choices that are right for them. and yes, some will still go to their OB and have their baby at the hospital, and that's ok for them. but i want them to know that they are in charge of the births of their babies. that they, in fact, know how to give birth to their babies better than the doctors do -- even the female ones. because we all give birth differently. we all know how to do it. but we have been convinced that we need help.

so i spent the weekend with five other miraculous women. each one has a different story and a different birthing experience to share. i learned so much and can't wait to learn more. it will take some time -- i have a lot of work to do before becoming certified as a childbirth educator, but it will be such an exciting journey.

and i know so much more now, after this weekend, that i feel so much more prepared and excited for your arrival into this world. it's so close. two months away or so. i feel you moving around in there so often, hopefully you will be getting comfortable with your head down pretty soon. right now, it's down there. but you are on a diagonal line across my belly. but i know you will get to where you need to be. we won't force you to do anything.

we love you.

02 August, 2009


as we were going through our grief over the loss of your brother and then our struggles with trying to conceive again, i swore i would NEVER complain about being pregnant. so let me clarify -- these are not complaints. as i keep telling your dad, i am simply reporting out observations of what is happening to my body. i tend to observe and report out on the good, the bad, and the ugly. so here it goes...

the good

my baby belly
seeing myself naked
feeling you move around in there
practicing yoga with you, my angel, inside
your daddy reading to my tummy
your daddy kissing you through my belly
all of the things your daddy does for me
your grandparents are so excited
our friends are so excited
your cousins and your aunt cole are so excited
taking a shower with my big belly in the way of my feet
imagining what you look like
day dreaming about your arrival
thinking about all of the things we will do as a family
imagining carrying you around in a sling
dreaming about you
picturing your daddy holding you and kissing you
looking forward to my prenatal photo session
(i guess this list could go on forever)

the bad

i cannot sleep
my hands are always falling asleep
stress about whether or not i am eating well enough
swollen feet (only sometimes)
my lower back hurts
(not as bad as i thought)

the ugly

i am still jealous and angry about other people's pregnancies and little babies
(not sure if this one will ever go away)

so that's that. it's down in writing. and i don't feel as guilty about mentioning observations i may be making while on this journey towards mommy-hood.