observations

as we were going through our grief over the loss of your brother and then our struggles with trying to conceive again, i swore i would NEVER complain about being pregnant. so let me clarify -- these are not complaints. as i keep telling your dad, i am simply reporting out observations of what is happening to my body. i tend to observe and report out on the good, the bad, and the ugly. so here it goes...

the good

my baby belly
seeing myself naked
feeling you move around in there
practicing yoga with you, my angel, inside
your daddy reading to my tummy
your daddy kissing you through my belly
all of the things your daddy does for me
your grandparents are so excited
our friends are so excited
your cousins and your aunt cole are so excited
taking a shower with my big belly in the way of my feet
imagining what you look like
day dreaming about your arrival
thinking about all of the things we will do as a family
imagining carrying you around in a sling
dreaming about you
picturing your daddy holding you and kissing you
looking forward to my prenatal photo session
(i guess this list could go on forever)

the bad

i cannot sleep
my hands are always falling asleep
indigestion
stress about whether or not i am eating well enough
swollen feet (only sometimes)
my lower back hurts
(not as bad as i thought)

the ugly

i am still jealous and angry about other people's pregnancies and little babies
(not sure if this one will ever go away)

so that's that. it's down in writing. and i don't feel as guilty about mentioning observations i may be making while on this journey towards mommy-hood.