sleeping through the night

this is one of the many questions that makes my blood boil. how does he sleep? is he sleeping for you? does he sleep through the night? oh, he's in bed with you. that must be so hard.

no. it isn't hard. it's parenting. is parenting easy? is is supposed to be? i chose to keep you in bed with me from your first night on earth. it was my plan from before you were born. i read enough to know it was safe. i used my common sense and i did what was right for me. and for you. you stayed in my bed at the hospital -- directly across from the sign telling me not to let you sleep in bed with me. you have slept in our bed every night of your life since we came home from the hospital. and we want you there. we did this on purpose. we chose to keep you there with us. it's not hard. it's how we like it. all of us.

and you don't sleep through the night. not nearly. but does anyone? i haven't slept through the night in...i don't know...my entire life. i wake, i roll over. i get up to pee. i pull the covers back from your dad. you do the same sort of things. but you don't know how to get back to sleep yet all the time by yourself. you do it now more often than you ised to. and you sleep longer stretches sometimes. but you don't sleep longer than four hours at a time. and that's rare. but when you wake, i roll over, you latch on and we both go back to sleep. it's really not a big deal most nights. yes, some nights it sucks. but some nights your teeth hurt. some nights i just can't get comfortable. some nights your dad snores. so i'm not gonna blame just you.

my point here is i am still hearing this question. people ask me. they ask my friends who are new moms. new moms ask each other. i wish that we could all just accept that babies do not sleep through the night unless they are left to cry and to believe that no one is coming. and if i have a ninteen month old who is still waking and it's not a problem for me, then it's not a problem. it's not a big freaking deal. yes, it would be a big deal if you were down the hall in a crib and i had to get my tired ass out of bed to nurse you. then it would suck all the time. but it doesn't suck. most of the time. really. you are right there. i roll over. we go back to sleep.

so friends. please don't feel bad for me. don't wonder how i do it. i do it just because it's what i do. and it's what my kid needs.

and please know, i am not saying that everyone should keep their kid in bed with them. i'm just saying who cares if my kid or anyone else's is sleeping through the night? let's all just get over it. let's all just stop caring and stop asking and stop announcing if babies are sleeping through the night!